"ITS JUST A GAME!"
I missed writing one post in between coz i was feeling too lazy. A lot has happened. i'll write about that later.
right now, i am.. i dont know what. Angry, frustrated, disappointed, i dont know what. people say its just a game. that is the biggest sop to anyone that has ever been created. even though i have used it myself to ease the pain and hurt and disappointment of someone else.
So what if it is just a game. All games are meant to be won. What hurts most is when you lose because of yourself. hurt is an inadequate word.
Time and again the same thing repeats itself. Right now i am ready fr murder. and i know its not fair on my friends. but the problem is something they will not undertsand. its not about the game at all. if it was then competitive matches would never be played at all. it is about pitting your skills against someone else, about wanting to prove to yourself that you are better than someone else. and when you lose, you lose your sense of worth, which is the worst that can happen. The worst thing that can ever happen to anyone is them not playing their natural game, which is what happens to me.
Its all a nice little pattern where good ol' history repeats itself.
the coin tossed and love all called
the minute that happens, i dont know what happens to me. its like playing with a blindfold. i can see but not quite. there is this haze that surrounds me and weakens my reflexes.
maybe it is nervousness or just acute fear of a match.
why cant i play my natural game like all others play? when i am taking part in any competition it is like my ghost playing. i am not there in flesh and blood. nothing makes sense. yet i take part in competitive matches, maybe to tell myself that i am good, maybe to give myself another oppotunity to snap out of the weird (to say the least!) phase
some people dont take part because they dont like the competition. me too, but i cant just lose out wherever there is competition and that is what i keep trying to tell myself.
the worst match is the one where u lose to a mediocre opponent forced more by ur mistakes. my game becomes a shadow of itself in any bloody match, which is the trouble.
anyway, lets see if it gets any better in later years.
have heard some people saying that ur attitude to the game is what matters. well.. it really isnt fair then is it? because howver much u improve, when u r out there ur "attitude" just takes over and u lose.
well... lets see. there were mccanros in the world too
I missed writing one post in between coz i was feeling too lazy. A lot has happened. i'll write about that later.
right now, i am.. i dont know what. Angry, frustrated, disappointed, i dont know what. people say its just a game. that is the biggest sop to anyone that has ever been created. even though i have used it myself to ease the pain and hurt and disappointment of someone else.
So what if it is just a game. All games are meant to be won. What hurts most is when you lose because of yourself. hurt is an inadequate word.
Time and again the same thing repeats itself. Right now i am ready fr murder. and i know its not fair on my friends. but the problem is something they will not undertsand. its not about the game at all. if it was then competitive matches would never be played at all. it is about pitting your skills against someone else, about wanting to prove to yourself that you are better than someone else. and when you lose, you lose your sense of worth, which is the worst that can happen. The worst thing that can ever happen to anyone is them not playing their natural game, which is what happens to me.
Its all a nice little pattern where good ol' history repeats itself.
the coin tossed and love all called
the minute that happens, i dont know what happens to me. its like playing with a blindfold. i can see but not quite. there is this haze that surrounds me and weakens my reflexes.
maybe it is nervousness or just acute fear of a match.
why cant i play my natural game like all others play? when i am taking part in any competition it is like my ghost playing. i am not there in flesh and blood. nothing makes sense. yet i take part in competitive matches, maybe to tell myself that i am good, maybe to give myself another oppotunity to snap out of the weird (to say the least!) phase
some people dont take part because they dont like the competition. me too, but i cant just lose out wherever there is competition and that is what i keep trying to tell myself.
the worst match is the one where u lose to a mediocre opponent forced more by ur mistakes. my game becomes a shadow of itself in any bloody match, which is the trouble.
anyway, lets see if it gets any better in later years.
have heard some people saying that ur attitude to the game is what matters. well.. it really isnt fair then is it? because howver much u improve, when u r out there ur "attitude" just takes over and u lose.
well... lets see. there were mccanros in the world too
posted by daviejones at 7:20 AM
3 Comments:
When you love a game you need no more reason to continue playing it.
Aftermaths are not a part of the game. Not even the feelings that arise out of the flip sides of the coin.
Came across your blog accidentally a while ago. You write very well, you should do it more often. It's a pleasure to read your style.
I agree with Anon. Blog, good woman, BLOG!!!
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